Dear God I believe in you !

Dear God,
I remember fighting with a 25 year old when I was 12 because he did not believe in you. I could not believe that there exists a person who doesn't believe in you. I mean you have been my best friend always and you've listened to me when I could not say it to anyone else. As and when I grew up my problems shifted from the girl in class who had a better pencil box than me to the girl in office who got a promotion before me because she belonged to a renowned wealthy family. I remember how happy I was when that girl lost her pencil box the very next day but nothing has happened to this girl in office. You are beyond the limits of my understanding.
We, humans are never happy because we want more and more from you.Though I totally believe in ''whatever you do is for a cause'' theory but sometimes the cause and effect relationship is a little difficult for a stupid girl like me to understand. Please don't complicate things this much. I tend to misjudge your decision, I may also start questioning your existence.
At every stage of life I have been unsatisfied. When I was a kid I always wanted to grow up quickly because I thought elders enjoy a better and independent life but now that I'v grown up I've realized crying over a broken toy or a lost pencil was any time better than crying over a broken trust or a lost relationship. The punishments of being banned from going out to play or doing extra 20 questions in maths were far more easier than being ditched or dumped or left alone in a room with no one to talk but yourself.
Anyways, sometimes I feel the more I trust you, the more you test me. Don't you know I hate tests, I am afraid of under performance, what scares me is the thought of being left out. But no doubt I still trust you because right from when I was a child, the solution of my every itty-bitty problem came by standing in front of you with folded hands and closed eyes and praying "Please Bhagvaan Ji help me". Though sometimes you did disappoint me but the faith in you is one thing that never sets down for me.
You created me and then you created people better than me and quite often I find myself in the blind race of trying to become better and perfect. You gave me a mind but then you gave me a heart which was supposed to be a part of the circulatory system of my body but at times it overtakes every system of my body and screw things up. I don't understand why can't it mind its own business.
Still for most of the times I am optimistic because I believe that since I am your kid it is your responsibility to guide me through everything and help me stay happy. Sooner or later you'v always yielded answers to my problems and you will be glad to know that I've even discovered the reason for the delay that happens sometimes - There are millions and billions of people wanting to communicate with you all the time, it must be difficult for you to attend to so many prayers at the same time. Hence, I can blame all my unheeded troubles, confusing situations, unanswered prayers, unexpected failures, unending tribulations to the population explosion and go to sleep.

Yours lovingly,
one of your creations 

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